Nothing Feels Right Anymore

In a sort of right way…

The world is a messy place with messy experiences and I am just one of many who constantly feels their head spin.

Pushing yourself beyond your limits and entering situations that scare you, tease you, and make you chuckle.

The world is full of love and joy and darkness. It can all be experienced simultaneously.

How can one experience anxiety and happiness at the exact same time?

Being up and down is a normal, human experience. Even if you feel all of that at once.

Christmas is perfect time to experience all of these emotions thrown in together. The joy of gifts, time with those you love and celebrations. All that mixed in with the anxiety of financial worries, time with those you hate and putting on a smile when that’s the last thing you feel like doing.

I love gift giving. Thinking about the person, something they need, all the things they like, little things they’ve mentioned in the past, remembering every time they’ve smiled at something — compiling all those experiences and wrapping it up in wrapping paper.

I love it.

Sometimes I get it wrong. Especially if I’m shopping for my brother. I’m a terrible gift giver when it comes to my brother.

What do brothers even like?

Actually, my dad’s not so fussed with the gifts I give him either.

Maybe other people are being polite. Maybe I’m not good at giving gifts.

Oh dear…. I’m spiralling. Someone help!

Christmas is the time for financial worry, hope, love and so many events you wish you could sleep through every single one. It’s a joyous time and a difficult time.

We love it and we hate it.

That’s my take on Christmas. How do you feel about it?